Thinking deeply of some of the most uncomfortable and emotional events of my life, and I realized that most of it was not really about who or what hurt me but was more of having to deal with the pain. When you are wounded or hurt you feel pain and pain messes with your happiness. Happiness is deep rooted and so is pain. Happiness is very intrinsic and it comes from the “wholeness” of the body, soul and mind.
As we progress in the journey of life, we may need to make some stops and address some deep cuts, things we need to heal from. It is easy to master the art of masking, redirecting and avoidance, but these are all first aid solutions to deep rooted issues. There is no such thing as happiness outside of wholeness and wholeness comes with restoration, sanctification and healing.
If there is need for healing then we must acknowledge there is a wound, acknowledge you are hurt by whoever or whatever; rejection, betrayal, neglect, false accusation, etc Truth is whatever kind of hurt you feel it will definitely be uncomfortable to deal with, It is your pain no one can feel it for you. Pain is Pain.
You would say time heals wound but trust me dear friend there are wounds that time alone would never heal, these type of wound needs to be treated, because no matter how far and long we run this wound will still be there and may hinder us from giving and living our best lives. I have seen people who ran their race with deep wounds and just one feet from their finish line they fell greatly all because of a neglected wound.
Here are 6 ways you can deal with emotional pain;
- Name it : There is a name for all types of pain, define yours, call it by its name, pain of rejection, humiliation, betrayal, neglect and so on. Identify the pain you feel, whatever we cannot identify we cannot solve, its becomes a mystery that keeps taunting you.
- Express your feelings: I know people often say “Let it go” as if it was that easy, any one who has truly been hurt will know that letting go or pushing the feelings away is almost impossible. Our feelings are a part of us, so please express your feelings but do so in a healthy way. Cry if you need too or scream as loud as you want, write, paint, look for a good way to express your pain. Avoid substance abuse, comfort eating, or inflicting injury on yourself as it will only make things worse.
- Explore questions that can help address it : Whilst its good to express your feelings, dwelling in it will only drown you, and cause more issues for you. Feel your pain, but address it. Explore questions channeled towards solutions or positivity. Questions such as What are my options? What can I do? Who can i talk to? What would i tell someone who was going through the same thing? and so on.
- Confront or communicate: You can decide to confront the offender, if and when you know you are ready to, the expectation is not necessary to get an apology or some sort of sympathy but and a way to relief yourself from the intensity of how you feel. It doesn’t have to be the offender it might be a family or friend, someone you trust who will simply just listen to you and or may not give any advice.
- Give it time: After you have faced and dealt with your pain, you may still have sparks from time to time. Its just like any deep cut that has just been treated and covered up by the doctor, you would sometimes feel that little sting. It is why doctors often say, give it time; it would heal. As long as you have addressed and treated that pain the way you should, give yourself time to heal. Be kind and patient with yourself.
- Seek help: If the pain persist after a while or if the pain is negatively affecting your normal life, seek professional help. Reach out to a therapist or counsellor.
The amazing thing about healing is that you learn deep life lessons and principles one that cannot be taught in any educational institution. So please stop running, take a break, face your pain, deal and treat your wound go through the process of sanctification and healing, be whole again, fully embrace the happiness that lies within.
If you need help you can seek professional therapeutic services at [email protected].
